Bruised knees (two poems)

Feeling both nothing and feeling too much
It's belonging that kills you but unbelonging cuts
With your hold in this tide, you will never be free
At least, that's what they keep on telling me
I'm not part of your world, it was never the same
We only pretended it was, for a short time, and came away changed
You belong to yours, and I belong to mine
When did we start walking this very thin line?
My world is Nowhere, a place I can't comprehend
While you live in Somewhere, you and all our friends
Because I live in Nowhere, you often forget about me
And I won't cross to Somewhere, unless I'm invited, you see
“Not belonging anywhere, but that's terrible,” you say
But then you laugh and turn and go off on your way
You comment and you listen, but you don't seem to care
It's better than I'm used to, you used to point and stare
I don't know where I belong yet, if indeed it's anywhere
Sometimes I can't help crying out, “Life really isn't fair!”
I don't know where I belong yet, or whither there I'll stay
But when Death he comes to claim me, I'll gladly go his way



I wonder, sometimes
If the way that I miss you
Shows in my eyes
And if, on the days I forget
Who I'm talking to,
The way that I love you is felt in the room

I know well I love you
I've known for a while
Since you came home alive
I mean, I had warned you, don't die

I wonder, my friend,
If one day we'll be more
When I see you again
And if, when the days pass on by
You'll remember the time
We said goodbye