You know you can dance here

I know I've posted a lot in the past couple days, but this occurred to me today and I thought I should write it...

In the past, I always hated myself. The way I looked, the way I acted, who I was. So I wore a mask and screwed myself over, until I was so far gone I forgot where I came from and who I actually was. This is bad. Don't do it, it hurts more than it ought to and the pain is entirely unnecessary, you bring it on yourself. Anyway, this summer, that changed, starting in Philadelphia when I fell in love and continuing on at camp when I LITed and learned that people are amazing and that I have the best LIT group ever. And so I became myself this summer and it shows, I can see it. I'm happier now than I ever was before, and I care so much less what people think of me. Now I can dance.
And today I looked in the mirror and decided I was beautiful. Not in a cocky way, you understand, but for the first time in as long as I can remember, and we all know that's a long time, I liked the way I looked, and didn't hate myself for being me. I'll never be a head-turner but I really don't care and I won't change the way I am to try to be. That's really all that happened to me today, I decided I was beautiful. Sorry for getting you all excited.

The sky is falling

Don't look at me that way
There's nothing I can do
I don't know what to do with you
Don't make me handle you
Don't ask me questions I can't answer honestly
Don't ask me to do this today
There's no way I can fix this for you
I seriously can't help you now
Don't look at me like that
You're driving me to the point of insanity
There's nothing I can say but what I've already said
It's not going to change now
It's not my fault I love you

All you need is love... love is just a game

I came to 3 conclusions today, while doing my puzzle and listening to George Strait.
1) People in relationships who become too dependent on their significant other are screwed.
2) People in relationships who constantly think only of their significant other are screwed.
3) People in relationships who have the need to be in a relationship all the time are screwed.

I came to more conclusions today too. They are:
1) Social Studies is probably the most boring thing ever invented.
2) I don't want to go to Regina next week.
3) I am so extremely excited for basketball and I want to go to HOOPLA so so bad.
4) I enjoy almost all music including Celtic, reggae, jazz, and blues.
5) I hate most rap and all R&B.
6) Tomorrow night is going to be SWEET.

In other news, I had a sleepover last weekend and I'm still not caught up on my sleep. We stayed up until 4 in the morning and I'm still tired from it. It was great fun though. I'd totally do it again. Also, I got interviewed yesterday for the Country Press, so I guess I'm famous now. I'll be in the newspaper sometime in December because I wrote that story and got it published. So watch the Press, folks. Actually don't. I think it'll probably be kind of cheesy. So that is all that's new with me, comment on my life and tell me what you think of it. Even if you're not from Canada and don't know me, because that would just be entertaining. I like feedback, except from microphones.

"I had a dream I was Florence Nightingale and was getting raped..."

I miss you so bad sometimes

For the rest of my life I'll remember the Spanish kids of this summer and how they taught me that nothing is everything and my everything is really nothing at all, and that to be real is the only thing they see. I fell in love this summer so deeply that I don't think I'll ever be the same again.

Why does it cry, precious?

Kill me quick, kill me now
Because I don't want to have to spend
Another night sleeping
With my eyes wide open in
This cemetery world

I'm tired of hanging on
For dear life upside-down
I'm tired of being compared
To you

Remind me again how long
It takes to get out of this
And how much it doesn't hurt
To fall at this speed

Be who you are and say
Exactly what you mean
Knowing the smile in your eyes isn't fake
Even when the smile on your mouth is



I broke my writer's block today. Aren't you all proud of me? I hadn't written in something like 2 months and all of a sudden these first 3 verses came pouring out. (With my last name it's a wonder I don't get writer's block more often.) Seriously, why does everyone laugh at me and tell me I'll change my mind when I say I want 8 kids? I do. Don't tell me differently. (This is a different topic.) It's not that uncommon of a thing. I want a large family. What is wrong with that? Today was my Grandpa's birthday, so we went over there and had cake, and then spent 4 hours there, just hanging out. It was really good. I opened one of my Grandma's old jewelry boxes, and the smell of her drifted out. I almost started crying. I hadn't smelled her since she died, and that was 9 years ago now, when I was 7. It shouldn't have affected me as much as it did, but somehow I don't want to change it. Strange way for a 16-year-old girl to spend her Friday evening, nein? Guten nacht.