Take me

"And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"

I never knew it would be so hard. In fact, compared to now, it was easy. Why are you doing this? I don't understand. Not that I would expect to but it would be nice to see at least some sort of something proving this was the right choice. Instead, everything is telling me it's going to get harder yet. Why?

Losing control [freak]

I'm about ready to explode. Seriously, I do not belong here. Why is this so difficult? Why am I having the strangest dreams? I look like a drug addict with these holes in my arms. I wish you could stick your needle in my arms and pull out my blood, pass it around to others and let them drink this strange disease I was given as a gift. Take my heart. Take it. I'll fall in love with you and you can keep my heart. Maybe then I wouldn't feel all this that I am bound to scream for, and you can have this responsibility. How can I love them? How can I hold it all in? Why must I see you all within myself, especially at this, the lowest point? I'm nothing but a fool who loves with her heart and never uses her head.

The antagonist and the argument

It never occurred to you that I could be different from you. You don't understand me but you don't really try, you just point out all the things you think I'm doing wrong. You think I do this on purpose. But I thrive on conflict. You'll only realize that I need this to breathe after you take it away.
I know everyone says this but I want to change the world someday.

Please

Remind me that I can come home again.

See you soon

If I could bring myself to say it
I would tell you
That I have too much pride
And I would love to give in because I know you're right
But I can't
And I know it's not mature
I know it's not right
I am proud I am stubborn
Proud I won't give in
Even when I so desperately want to
I am proud that my greatest fault
Is also my greatest virtue
And though it never seems to work out quite right
I can't give it up
And when I know I'm wrong
I'll cling to it because
It's easier than saying sorry

You and me

Elmer is a feisty old man. He was a very rambunctious teenager, having a lot of girlfriends. He was quite popular back in the day, being a bit of a rebel child. He still has the shifty eyes. His skin is a purpley color. He had a heart transplant a few years back but that doesn't stop him any. He's still going strong. Sometimes you can tell that he's dying but it's not that obvious. He'll probably die from daily wear and tear but it's also possible that his heart will finally give out. He's seen it all, probably more than I realize. He's pretty cool, I like hanging with him. We go places together. A lot.

You are lost, you can never go home

I can't get over this idea that there's a place I belong that I can't get to. There's a song that will explain all that's inside me but I can't write it. A place that, like Valinor, would make you completely content if only you could sail there. Unfortunately, the world is round and it is beyond the rim of the sea. I'm trapped here and I can't get out.
Tolkien says it best, or rather, Frodo does:

"The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say."
"Upon the hearth the fire is red,
Beneath the roof there is a bed,
But not yet weary are our feet,
Still round the corner we may meet:
A sudden tree or standing stone
That none have seen but we alone.
Tree and flower and leaf and grass,
Let them pass! Let them pass!
Hill and water under sky,
Pass them by! Pass them by!
Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.
Apple, thorn, and nut and sloe,
Let them go! Let them go!
Sand and stone and pool and dell,
Fare you well! Fare you well!
Home is behind, the world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight.
Then world behind and home ahead
We'll wander back to home and bed.
Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,
way shall fade! Away shall fade!
Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,
And then to bed! And then to bed!"