Everybody's been there and I don't mean on vacation

Must I always be torn in two? Faced with going back to Saskatchewan, I am really excited for school and holidaying, but I don't want to leave here. I feel more like I belong in Calgary than anywhere else at the moment, regardless of my lack of friends and anything to do. Regardless of the fact that I spend a heck of a lot of time on the computer because I am lazy. I'd like to live here more permanently. It was hard to leave especially the JLYS and the people there. I love them to pieces, and I wish I had more time with them.
I'm a cheap drunk. If it was a more permanent amnesia I'd consider getting more drunk more often, but as all it seems to do is make me both meditative and louder it's not much good for a regular habit, those are things I don't need to do. It's the forgetting I want, and that's not permanent or perhaps possible with me. Oh well. Let's not make a habit of this, either way. But I don't want to go back, either. I don't belong there anymore. If I ever did.