Losing control [freak]

I'm about ready to explode. Seriously, I do not belong here. Why is this so difficult? Why am I having the strangest dreams? I look like a drug addict with these holes in my arms. I wish you could stick your needle in my arms and pull out my blood, pass it around to others and let them drink this strange disease I was given as a gift. Take my heart. Take it. I'll fall in love with you and you can keep my heart. Maybe then I wouldn't feel all this that I am bound to scream for, and you can have this responsibility. How can I love them? How can I hold it all in? Why must I see you all within myself, especially at this, the lowest point? I'm nothing but a fool who loves with her heart and never uses her head.