Break me down

I want someone to tell me it's okay to have these dreams, that they don't mean anything. I don't want them to mean anything. I want to forget them and let things that are happening happen. As long as that's okay. I mean, it's comfortable. Like a bunnyhug that's huge but warm. Like cuddling with people in the staff lounge during meetings, when it's cold enough that you can't feel your toes. Like the fire when you're right behind me. Tell me you'll chase me when I run away, and that you won't be gone when I come back.
Sometimes God is frustrating. Always God is good. It's not difficult to see Him working at camp. It's harder to see Him working in my own life. I realize what I need to do but it's so hard. Perhaps it's the same for everybody. I don't know. I am only myself.
I dislike the fact that the people I most want to talk to are in Saskatoon, Alberta, and Australia. They are not here.
God help me. Let me do this on Your strength, for I have none of my own. Give me Your wisdom, for without it I will fail. Let me abandon myself into You, so that I will become what you want me to be. Take my fears and my joys, and make me Yours. Don't let this be superficial. Let me mean what I say. Amen.