Crazy? I was crazy once

I have discovered what I want in life. I want to be a mother. That is my goal in life. I had a dream last night that I had 3 girls already and was pregnant again because my husband wanted a boy. I thought of it today, if I get married before I'm 21 years old, I can have 8 children by the time I'm 35 and they won't be awkwardly older than one another. It really wouldn't be that hard. Sometimes there are things that I want very badly. I am not sure whether these things are right or wrong and God has decided to be silent on the subject for the time being. One of the great things about camp is that one can really get to know God in a very easy way, He's right there all the time. Not that He isn't other times, just at Redberry you can feel it all the time. That doesn't mean I always do the right thing, it's hard. But there are some things I want very badly, some things I am doing that I have wanted to for a long time. But God is still quiet with his opinion. The Bible, I am learning, does not answer everything. There are gray areas that only God can answer. So we wait.