The want that kills

I sometimes get the feeling that all is not quite right- that more is expected of me, a more that I don't want to give. I don't always think I turned (or am turning) out like I am supposed to. I saw a family on Sunday and oh, I would give anything to have a family like that. They loved each other, and that was made perfectly clear by the way they acted towards each other. They weren't embarrassed about showing love to their siblings/parents/children in church. There were about 5 children, with the oldest being about 19 and the youngest being about 7 or 8. They really really loved each other. And I saw it, and it almost made me cry. Why aren't we like that? Have we deviated from love like that for so long that we can't go back to it? I know if we did it wouldn't be the same, it would still be awkward, whereas it wasn't here. I want that. My family love each other all right, but we could never be as amazingly open about it as the family from that place. And it kills me.