I'm ready to be done work already. I'm ready to go home. The thing is, I am home. I have no doubt that this is where I am supposed to be. Enough things have happened to erase any questions in my mind. Either this is it or God is working through it anyway, in which case, this is it. I look forward to going to church here. I feel included in the church here. Unlike at home. I did not belong to that church. Maybe that was my own fault. But it's nice to be able to start over, in a place where I don't have a past and no one has any reason to ignore me yet. The pastors here have not betrayed me yet. Although I don't really know them and they don't really know me, so they really can't. Maybe I'm running from traditional church. Maybe traditional church is upside down anyway. Maybe relationship is more important. Maybe it's actually all about Jesus Christ, and knowing him. Maybe it's about relationship. Maybe the traditional ritualistic compartmentalized institution we call church has it confused. Maybe it's not all about the money and more about the trust. I'm ready to let go. I think. Either way, living here is the right place to be, and maybe I'll come out of this understanding more and knowing less.
Broken lights on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
I haven't forgotten my way home
(Lifehouse)
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2 comments:
Funny thing is. the early "church" in acts, wasnt even a church at all. it was just a grouping of people gathering at a house. there was no set speaker, no set program. no set building. just Lovers of Christ coming together to fellowship. people could say what they wanted to say when they wanted to say it. no pastors, no worship leaders to dictiate how the " meeting " went, they just went for it
its nice. because my church here in aus. is so much closer to that then iv ever experienced. i mean granted its still a "church" but its not in a church building. its in a community hall, theres a set " pastor" but he doesnt preach every week. people from the congregation do. and we have a praise and prayer time. where anyone can come up and say anything thats been challenging them. its GREAT and feels so much more like it should be.
im glad your also discovering theres more to christianity then i building and religion.
ps. my blog is now at www.stephinoz88.blogspot.com i changed it cause some random guy was creeping me
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