When I press the keys it all gets reversed

Other people's words are filling my head; I have none of my own. Their songs catch and say what I want to say and therefore my words are as blank as the paper I write them on. And I miss you, you're so far away across the ocean and I wish you were closer so we could talk more like we did once upon a time. It's crazy now, now that the people I need to talk to are all so far away. I hate school more and more these days, the only highlights being the camping trip and nice weather so we can eat outside. I feel like I'm drifting farther and farther from the things that once anchored me here and I'm becoming faker and faker whenever I'm around people. Why can't I be real anymore? Why can't I be what I found last summer, myself? Why do I feel like crying so much these days? I'm sad tonight and I don't know why. It feels right somehow, though. Maybe sad is okay these days.