Coming unglued

They say fire can make a conscience clean, so I was wondering if I would feel better if I burned it down. I was wondering why you are so far away when I need you the most. I was wondering why I am such an asshole. I was wondering if I could burn my skin off so my soul shows through and if you would still love me then. I was wondering how long this will take and if it will happen in time. I am wondering when I'll be able to forgive myself.